ROB FLOURNOY
PERSONAL – Flo grew up in the middle of nowhere Oregon but now lives with his wife, Jaci, and daughters, Sofia (5 almost 6) and Brooke (2), in Rocklin, California. For his day job he works as a fireman in Santa Clara, Ca, which means he works two days a week then gets to come home for the rest of it – I want to fire my guidance counselor each time I hear this. Rob picked up golf many years ago while still in college but claims to rarely play the game anymore – not enough time, he claims – even with the two day a week job. I think he secretly hits up the driving range each morning before the kids wake up. He thinks about penis more than the average man and is happy to let you know that through text on a Sunday afternoon. He’s a great guy with a big heart who’s always got something funny and perfectly inappropriate ready to roll off his tongue. Flo is a great guy for this tournament and we are lucky to have him.
TIE TO THE MONTEMAR – The Montemar found Flo at the Santa Clara Fire Academy. More accurately, Simon found Flo at the Santa Clara Fire Academy. Both men had recently been hired for their dream jobs and were on day two of their training, both lonesome, both needing a friend. They were watching an instructional video when – in true Flo fashion – Rob whispered something to the man sitting next to him… A man he’d never met… A man named Simon Gober. “What do you think his tongue tastes like?”
“The guy being pulled out of the fire in the video?” Simon asked, really weirded out and moving away from this creepy guy.
“Yeah I bet he was a good lookin’ dude before he caught on fire. Do you think he has minty breath or bad breath? Do you think his tongue is soft?”
“I don’t know, man, I just want to watch this.” Simon said, inching further away from Flo and starting to wonder if they let anybody into this department.
“Okay, one more question, just because I really need to know the answer to this.” Rob said.
“Sure.” Replied Simon, annoyed.
“Do you think his dick is straight or curved?”
And just before Simon could stand up to go let the instructor know he was being sexually harassed by the creep with the fu Manchu mustache, Rob said something that made the pair instantly fall in love.
“I just wonder if it’s straight or curved because he’s a big dude and looks like he played college football.”
“College football” was all Simon heard, and to this day, he doesn’t even remember the awkward questions about the man breath and dick shapes. The two hit it off in a major way and soon thereafter Rob was officiating Simon’s wedding. A very ballsy move on Simon’s part if you ask me.
Simon and Rob have developed a great friendship over the years and Rob has become a good buddy to the rest of us as well. I guess sometimes good things happen when you’re not too shy to talk about your weirdest thoughts, even if those thoughts are about dicks.
ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE MONTEMAR – Rob is came through huge (not huge dicks, Rob) way this year. He’s taken it upon himself to purchase and have the Original Ocho belt designed. The belt will be awarded each year to the member of the Original Ocho with the highest point total. The member of the Ocho with the lowest point total will player the opening round at the following year’s Montemar in a kilt. I highly recommend any of you other “groups” within this big group putting together something else to play for. In addition to the belt, Rob is going to make and sell a couple of super nice wooden American flags and the use the proceeds from those to purchase more Montemar prizes.
WHAT NEEDED TO HAPPEN (2023) – In order for Rob to win the Montemar he’s going to figure out how to put the ball in the hole. His swing is very good and tee to green he’s as good as anybody. Avoiding three putts will be a tough task – especially considering the no gimme nature of the Montemar - but a crucial one if he’s going to try to squeeze into that jacket on Sunday. He picked up lots of quick payment points and has a favorable tournament handicap heading into Scottsdale. His scramble team hasn’t been finalized and one question I’ll ask him and Joe this week will greatly influence his chances, “Do you guys want to play together both Friday and Saturday, or do you want to play together Friday but not Saturday and significantly increase your chances at an Ugly Corduroy Jacket?”
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED (2023) – Flo got off to a hot start at TPC Scottsdale, firing an 80 or 81, depending on who’s adding the card up. Him and his scramble team had him right in the hunt after Saturday’s round, but an ass whoopin’ at the hands of Tim on Monday knocked hmi down to his finishing spot of 7th place. Not a bad finish, but couldn’t have felt great after having the jacket in sight.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN (2024) – The downside to playing lights out on day one last year is that his handicap won’t be so generous this year. How he handles this will determine his chances. A 10 is probably somewhere around the number he plays at anyway and having some additional strokes in a higher division, vs. less strokes in a lesser division, could actually benefit Rob. Rob has the game to make it happen, but in order to take home the jacket this year, will have to find a way to win the head to head battle on Monday at the Resort Course. The draft will play a factor, as will Rob’s ability keep the ball out of the water and in the fairway. Composure will be key.
ODDS TO WIN: 28-1
FUN FACT – Flo is the only Oregon Ducks fan I’ve ever met who I like. He’s also paid me $150 bucks over the last 2 seasons. $50 for each time the Dawgs beat the Ducks.
MONTEMARS PLAYED – 2 (2022 – SACRAMENTO, 2023 - Scottsdale)
MONTEMAR ROUNDS PLAYED – 5 (2022 – YOCHE, DARKHORSE/ 2023 – TPC Stadium, TS Piipaash, TS O’odham)
LIFETIME POINT TOTAL – 386.5 (4th)
JACKETS WON – 0
TOP 3 FINISHES – 0
TOP 5 FINISHES – 0
TOP 10 FINISHES – 2 (7th in 2022, 7th in 2023)
RECORDS – 0
TOURNAMENT HANDICAP – 10
INVITED BY – ORIGINAL OCHO
PLAYERS INVITED - 0
PRIZES DONATED – Rob is the man for the Ocho belt.
